genes and addiction...

is there a gene in my family for alcoholism? where is it? how can we deal with this issue? i am not talking about someone who gets drunk at a party or after meeting a major goal. i am talking about how drinking seduces a person to the point where he is utterly helpless, he has lost control.


therefore, when he has lost control, he cannot make rational choices. consequently, he ceases to be human at that time: he is no longer a person.

yet, we talk of personal responsibility: which is a good talk but such talk does not work and cannot work on a person who has creased to be rational and human.

penelope was really the one who killed the suitors not mr. wily. what if? how would she do it? all ways: poison, arrows, trickery, etc

he doesn't have a gun...

I still like the idea of the assassin as the great equalizer. besides there have to be some lost texts on the art of assassination. now of course i lost my idea: i don't remember what it was; i was speaking in my night class but i don't remember what i was thinking because it was not the same as what i was saying.

the assassin's memory problem for sure. huh? who? me?

On being a real westerner...

T. Wolff's conclusion is too pithy. He does not explain exactly what he is getting at at the end of the essay. what is he trying to say about childhood? is he tryign to impress us with who he has become in life--this hot shot Rhodes scholar, Oxford educated eastern establishment but brings in the image of the real westerner? i suppose it could give hope to kids, many of whom we have written off as losers and dead asses, or lazy potheads as the counselor Dean said about my son.

Math is not the great equalizer, but the assassin is. Just imagine what changes as the result of a true charge, bullet? All of history can change. Iran and No. korea beware not of sanctions but of the assassin.

unweaving...

by unweaving by night, she is not telling tales or spinning tales but undoing them. Perhaps digression or plain old lying is a good way to characterize it.

i am dt: painter of naked virgins. and yes, my dream was to become a painter, and to paint a naked woman would be a great project. amen

women characters...

I think I relate better to women; it's that catholic virgin Mary thing, where women are meant to be worshipped and prayed to, and frankly i still do every night. women in my life seem to be surprised when i don't bow down to worship their womenhood, but in the last 20 years, i have not been around many males, and now i have a daughter.

since i have no daughter or woman named penelope, it is fitting that i have to create one. i have watched them sleep, eat, shop, cry, make love, fanatisize, and now for the ultimate dream of creating a character, in ref to the odessey and also ulysses.

penelope, unweaving by night...

she may start like this: if my memory serves me correctly, Ulysses and I had a son. we were never married, and he was the type of sordid bloke who never liked to stand still; he was wily. now I suffer from dementia, aspergers, and mostly DTs, but that's another story.

student blogs

Hmmm. student blogs?? Well, some observations are in order. Students are not reflecting on the readings much. they are fighting blogging more than I thought they would. maybe it is clear in my mind but not theirs.

Also, when students present they tend to scroll up and down rather than to read or talk about their posts. the old shy presentation thing.

So idea for an article: moving graveyards.. technology domain in english community colllege curriculum...

start with the need in the lit; then suggest blogs and say why the journal approach is best...more writing.

English 1A

I think I will be teaching English 1A again next semester... The school had the bad taste to rehire me to teach 1A in Sept... Poor students!!! Too bad for the success center too since i require students to go to see the tutors at least twice for each essay!!!! Well, for me, tacos de ojos.

Today, we finally got the computer and projector working. Calhoun just pressed the 'normal' button on the control and now it works. So much for technology.

That's all for now. jm

A strange revelation...

Tonight outside her house, RGM commented that she did some very outrageous things to get money and pay her bills since her legal husband was supposedly not giving money. While she was not very specific, the suggestion was sex for money. This discussion deserves further info.

That name of the tip of the tongue

throughout the whole novel, he is trying to remember the name of that woman who got away... it is on the tip of my... adriana, claudia, esme, veronica, patricia... i am almost there: i will wake up at 4 am and almost certainly know that name that has a definite face: or I will be dying from the assassin's bullet, and then realize the name, and the fact that she is the one who killed me. all because i could not remember her name and i never loved her: matadora ... a killer by any other name.

plots and brain theories

The new title is Pictures at an Assassination by J.P. Palimpsest. All is working toward the final scene, a palimpsest of the assassination of the PM of PoMo.

Using the predestination paradox, if I go back in time to kill my grandfather, to prevent my father from being assassinated, then I would not be born. Likewise, the assassin would not be born either if she had gone back in time to kill her.

Meanwhile the subplot: she is constantly searching for her mother; he is constantly searching for his son, who is in godonlyknowsaplace.

and then there are the fires, burning all year round now.

and then there is the left brain and the right brain at war... Nietzche called it the Apolonnian and the dionysian. something like that. so we have changed the names, but the concepts are the same.

over plot: someone spends the whole novel walking up the Tribol River... trudging thru rats, floods, mud, and dust. the smell of a sewer.

Maybe it was all because right and left brain--an elaborate myth to the narrative or speaker--incorporate some poems from the ancient hero cycles as well as the romantic poets--which and of which theories he and she do not accept.

More Characters and Plots

Reflecting on Monday classes, I have decided we need more involvement from other students. Tomorrow we need more group work on Process model essays. And I will conference about graded essays (in 450 at least).

In other plots: the comp teacher is working through the recession as an assistant to a PI.

the two islands of Po and Mo and at war as usual in terms of art, climate, culture and politics.

Walking... or the philosopher's walk

Walking used to keep me sane: by walking home from school or walking to the store, I had time to think. I also burned a few calories. Now I barely have time to walk around the property here.

Furthermore, I used to walk long distances... to the zoo and back, many miles to a friend's house. But now what? Even in El Centro when I would be walking somewhere, usually by YouKNowWho's house, students would stop me and ask, Did your car break down? Do you need a ride?

No, I am just walking, stretching my legs.

Maybe my story should be, "Califes: a memoir of living in another California." My first day in El Centro, the border, etc. wow, what a great digression: I digress therefore I am.

Irony of Using Blogs in the Comp Classroom

Some of the possible ironies of student blogs:

1. Students don't realize that they are in a public "space." They think no one reads their blog, not even the teacher. Thus, "Publicy."

2. It is not to write or reflect but to fill with MySpace stuff: all abbrevs, emoticons (smile, etc). Maybe cute but not reflective or literate.

3. It is not an online journal but a place to flatter the instructor.

4. It is a place to add posts: pure and simple cut and paste but nothing new.

5. Original but off track: has nothing to do with course, but does contain some writing that is not all pictures.

Syllabi alley

I have spent about two days, so it seems, rewriting my syllabi. I think I am finally there. Of course the syllabus is the main legal document of teaching and usually the only thing a college looks at anyway. Teaching is not the issue; the issue is looking good for accreditation and the state, that is all. As Ralph said, Teaching went out the door a long time ago. Well, actually I disagree and I take a more Socratic view of it all: it is not what you have written down; it's what you can do and how you can persuade.

So my great legal guia is done for now. Now let's get some mileage out of the damn thing and not work too hard the first few weeks!!!

While I know we are not independent contractors, well we are of course when it comes to copying, supplies, extras, some books and texts... of course when it comes to the syllabus, we are employees of the college, all of a sudden.

So to conclude, while I am trying to do something create, like write my paper about student blogs, or work on my novel, I am bored with my diss. research and preparing syllabi. that's the truth. Where is the creativity? Maybe I need a drink.

Ideas about weblogs

What is a weblog in the higher education context?


Say what it is not: not quite personal; publicy. not very collaborative. Not MySpace.

It should be reflective, personal, informational and yet profound.

What can we learn from paper journals and diaries? They are personal yet important. They are reflective. Grammar is not important as long as there is basic clarity.

Audience: well, still the teacher and peers to some extent. Few comments, even from the teacher. Yet, there is still the possibility of other comments.

Collaboration is difficult, maybe the result of the technology.

but basically, weblogs are merely a space for more writing in a richer tech environment.

Don't totally abandon ideas from paper journals such as grammar and spelling are not most important. Express ideas. Get rid of conventions to freely sing.

Now instruction: Yes, it should be open ended but not vague. Teach the technical aspects in class, face to face, hands on. Present the blogs at midterm and during the last week of class to give closure to assignment and class.

Unintended consequences: What do they write that surprises you? Do the students blog after the course is over?